Sometimes I can imagine my heavenly Father looking down on me just shaking his head. There are even moments where I envision his head is cradled into his hands with the disappointment I must cause him, more frequently than I would like to admit. Life is a hard. A daily rhythm of ups and downs, good decisions and bad, battles of victory of our flesh over our spirit. Am I the only one who is in constant combat with the above? I am ashamed to admit it, but then again when you read the Bible, it is full of accounts of good, faithful servants repeatedly falling short. I feel seen. I feel like I can relate to their moments of weakness and their proneness to mistakes. It gives me hope to know God can use even the lowest, the imperfect and unpolished. The devil likes to make us feel like we cannot be used because of our past mistakes and current flaws. But let me remind you, the devil is a big, fat liar.
I may imagine these thoughts of God, but in reality, I know it is more like he is holding his arms wide open, with his nail scarred hands reaching out for a sinner like me. A sinner saved by his wonderful, most amazing, and endless grace. From the deepest parts of my heart, I have come to cherish and embrace the word “grace”.
Grace- the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God.
And why does he shower us with his compassion and kindness? Because he loves us. All we have to do is believe on him as our Savior. Our One and Only God. He is the way. He is the Truth. I do not know where I would be without his unending mercy and grace.
As humans, we are stuck in this flesh. I don’t know about you but my flesh is selfish, greedy, judgemental, sinful…….dare I go on (sigh). I fail him daily, but yet he has never failed me. He has never wandered off because of my stupidity and unfaithfulness. How great a God he is to love me despite the long list of flaws I have. And guess what, he loves you too!
Over the past few years, I have tried to remember how much grace God has bestowed upon me, and in doing so I try pass it on to others. Now, please note I said “tried”. It is downright hard some days, I get in the way and instead of showing grace, I show my sinfulness. Just the other day, I had a moment where it was like a smack on the hand from God. I was driving through town, and well there were a few crazy drivers that got in my way causing me to get a little upset and a not-so-nice word came out of my lips. Okay maybe a few not-so-nice words. I didn’t think nothing about. A few minutes after that, a contemporary Christian song came on the radio and I started singing along to it. That is when a very strong and clear thought came into my my and heart. The lips you use to sing worship and praise, are the same lips you just used casting out those not-so-nice words. Can I just say OUCH! It humbled me real quick and made me think how fast my attitude can change. I can go from child of God to a prisoner of this sinful flesh causing him dishonor. I’ll be honest, I went from belting out those lyrics to that song, to more less just mumbling them in a whisper.
In those moments when I fall short, God’s grace abounds. Praise God for that! And this hasn’t happened just once, but more times than I could ever keep up with.
Contemporary Christian artist Matthew West has a song called Grace Wins. I encourage you to go listen to it. Here is the chorus:
There’s a war between guilt and grace, And they’re fighting for a sacred space, But I’m living proof, Grace wins every time, yeah, No more lying down in death’s defeat, Now I’m rising up in victory, Singing hallelujah, Grace wins every time.
Keep moving forward my friends,
Hayley W
Unpolished & Imperfect 