It is hard to believe we are already in the second month of 2026. As I think back on 2025, I feel like a good part of it was secretly lived behind the bars of a prison cell. The guards were named Fear and Worry. You guys have heard me mention them before. They intimated me. They taunted me. They controlled me. They left me exhausted and anxious.
Have you ever been there?
When I reflect back on why these two emotions seem to rule my daily life, I can link it back to a control issue or should I say the lack of control. I never considered myself a control freak, but I feel confident my family would disagree on some level. All the unsettled feelings that dwelt within my heart came from situations that I had no control over. One that was at the top of the list in 2025 was the season I came face to face with. My kids are now young adults who are trying to find their own way and in doing so I am learning my role in their life is making a significant shift. One that all moms will face but to be honest, it is scary. This season is hard and there is a mix of emotions that come with it. There are moments where it is like someone punched me in the gut leaving me gasping for air. I wasn’t prepared for how hard this stage of motherhood is. The part of letting go. The transition of where I am no longer in the driver seat, but more a backseat passenger. I don’t hear a lot of moms talk about this season and the brutality of it on one’s heart. God bless all you who have endured and are enduring this season. If it wasn’t for the grace of God and his strength, I would probably be found in my bathroom crying my eyes out about the days gone by. If you find yourself struggling in this same season, please know you are not alone. Most of us keep these things hushed and to ourselves. We don’t want to come across selfish or silly. I mean when we have kids, we know they will grow up one day and move out and live their own lives. What I don’t think I realized was just how hard letting go can be.
The reason I chose the word freedom is through what God has helped me with as I embrace this new phase of motherhood. God has helped give me some clarity in this season. As parents, we have done our job up to this point to the best of our ability. We have taught our kids the difference between right and wrong. We have tried to live out the words we have spoken to them. We have taught them about God and lived our lives in a way that points to him most of the time. At least I hope we have, we tried too. I am sure there were times we could have made better choices. We are imperfect people and we mess up. We receive grace and we are to give grace. We have loved them and always will. We have supported them and will continue to do so.
I am arriving at a point where I am able to slowly start letting go because God has reminded me that he loves them so much more than I can fathom. I know he has plans for them and he has plans for me (because after all when our role starts to shift we can sometimes feel like as moms we have lost our purpose). I know they are aware of his love and that his words are true. I can be free from the chains of worry and fear because I can trust Him with it all. I don’t have to try to control any outcome because it is not mine to control. God knows and God has them. They know and have been taught. What they do with the things they have learned is up to them. We have done our part, now it is up to them to live out their own lives. Find their own way. Learn from their mistakes. This may sound easy but it is not for the weak of heart. But when I let go, and lean into Jesus and lay it at his feet, I can then start to breathe again and grab hold of the joy that is to be found in these moments. I can trust their futures to the one who entrusted me with these precious human beings in the first place. I can be hopeful and even excited to be able to get the best seat as their stories keep unfolding. What a privilege and blessing it has been to watch them grow and mature.
So yeah, FREEDOM. That is the word I am clinging to as we start 2026. When those anxious feelings start to rise up in my chest, I hope I can continue to take them immediately to Jesus in prayer. I don’t have to let it lead me into a downward spiral. I just have to trust in God knowing just as he has cared and loved me, he will do the same for them. God is good. All the time.
Keep moving forward,
Hayley W
Unpolished & Imperfect 