Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. Proverbs 4:23
If you have read any of my prior posts before, you know I have an interest in butterflies. Over the past few years I have learned how to collect the caterpillars, watch them form their chrysalises, and the most rewarding part is to set them free once they emerge as beautiful butterflies. Well this year, we had a different experience. One that left us somewhat distraught, but also in awe of nature. I had six swallowtails that had been in chrysalises for several weeks. I just figured they may overwinter and will hatch out in a few months.
One morning I went to open the window blinds by the table where my butterfly box is. To my surprise, I noticed a red wasp there. My first thought was how the heck did that wasp end up in that box. I had cut some zinnias and put them in the box the previous day. Maybe they were somehow on the flowers. As I was going in to get the wasp out, I noticed another wasp so at that point I ended up taking the box out on my deck to remove the unwanted guests. I thought it was odd but didn’t give much more thought to it. My daughter who happened to be home around lunch that day, noticed a third wasp and called me.
When I got home that afternoon, I went and checked the chrysalises. I noticed a black hole in one and instantly thought oh that isn’t good. I got on Google to see if I could find out what in the world was going on. Some information I came across that was troubling but yet when you think of nature and its complexities, it can leave you in awe at times. I found out that Trogus wasps will lay an egg in or on the caterpillars, so when they are in the chrysalis going through metamorphosis, unfortunately the caterpillars get eaten by the wasp larvae. Brutal huh? We were mind blown. My daughter was like so we raised wasps instead of butterflies. Unfortunately that seems to be the case this time.
Sure enough we had found three wasps, and checked 3 of the 6 chrysalises and they had holes in them and were empty. I checked the other three and so far no signs of harm, but I guess if we start seeing wasps again we will know they too have become victims.
While trying to wrap my brain around what had happened, I couldn’t help but feel the words “when the ugly comes out” being impressed on my heart. I felt some conviction that maybe God was wanting me to do an examination on my own heart because eventually the ugly stuff we harbor on the inside has a way of manifesting its way out no matter how hard we may try to keep it hidden. Sometimes we think we are good “stuffers” when it comes to our emotions. Hurt. Disappointments. Anger. Bitterness. Jealousy. Frustration. No matter how far we try to push those down inside of us, eventually they will rise and come out. They can even affect areas of our life that we are unaware of. We must ask God to help us deal with these emotions and usually it is not a one time ordeal. It is a process. A life long one indeed. We can carry on with our day to day lives convincing ourselves that we have moved on and the past is the past when one little action can take us back to that moment when the ugliness had us stuck. We all have our triggers. Maybe it was a social media post, words spoken by a friend, or just lies being whispered to us from the enemy. I have found this is why leaning on God is so important. Talking to him in prayer and being honest about the emotions we carry around in our hearts. Reading the Bible daily. Putting on the full armor of God as in the book of Ephesians. Laying whatever issues may be troubling you at his feet. And here is the big thing – leave it there!! Why is that so hard to do? I personally tend to surrender my burdens over to him, only to pick them up and take them back. Learning to let go can be difficult, but it is freeing when we can do so.
I recently heard a sermon about how vital it is to guard our hearts. We need God’s help with this. Whatever we allow to reside in our hearts will overflow into our daily lives. Be on guard. Be intentional. Protect your peace. Don’t let the ugly take up residence and win. Kick it to the curb and allow God’s word to come and settle in. That way you can be filled with joy, peace, gentleness, patience, love, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self control.
Below is a picture of the chrysalises from where the wasp emerged. Crazy, huh?
Keep moving forward,
Hayley W
